Be careful what you wish for. For Wishes come true.

I can’t lie: he’s been on my mind.

I wished and I prayed: to stop thinking about him. 

His lips, his touch, those hours spent bed bound. 

Us together.

Then: his care, our passion, his lies.

Us apart.

 Skip to to last Monday.

It was a special afternoon spent downtown, doing some early Christmas shopping.

I picked up my son early from daycare and we took a rare subway ride.

My toddler and I walked for a good bit.

Then, I wanted to get somewhere simple and quick.

I sat him in the stroller.

Not that he needs it. No no.

Moms.  — Actually let me take personal responsibility – I: need it sometimes. 

Less distractions, less interruptions, less talking, less management.

Let’s Stroller.

I make sure he’s comfortable and I head that way.

That way — coincided with your way.

Our ways used to be tangled : thirteen years ago.

Love was our core.

My gear is jeans and relax; you’re wearing a nice toned suit.

The outfit doesn’t matter, we recognize each other instantly.

We’re the same but we’ve changed; here we are. 

Oh.

Plus, little me: sitting lower in his stroller.

Filled with gladness, I offer an embrace.

Barely received.

You then initiate the encounter with a series of interrogations.

As I’m trying to land from this surprise; I also gladly answer your questions.

Back to back.

No time to catch my breath or even to ask about you.

Barely looking at me. With no proper good-bye, you say you got to go. 

And take off.

Our run-in — was less than a minute. You in the Olympics now?

I feel.

It’s as if: you.couldn’t.get.far.from.me —- fast enough.

So here I stand. I’m surprised but I’m serene. I’m aware but I’m poised.

I’m sober but I’m shook up.

Wait. What just happened?

Alexa, keep moving.

I  push the stroller and turn the next corner. 

Hence now; I’m feeling some type of way.

My answers to your questions were honest and delicate.

They were handled with no finesse. Now, I stand and walk unclear.

What we had. What you’ve said I’ve done for you. The memories and the love.

Didn’t recognize any of it.  The whole encounter is fuzzy.

What we were was a long time ago. True. 

Sure, several girls; other numbers are more recent. 

But today, for me: surprisingly: no tenderness, no happiness, no glad moment? 

No crumbs, not a drop. Nada.

No sweets, no tips, no friend chips?

Nah. Not even for a few seconds: no friendship.

That old number — still dials up: me. The girl you moved in with 14 years ago.

Thirteen years later– no bump ins. This never happens.

Where is that great person I knew? Where’s that kind heart?

I know it’s in there; I guess it’s just unavailable to me. 

A short walk later, I stop by the coffee shop to order an orange juice with a small coffee.

Let’s take a hydration pause; refine my perspective. 

I guess the way you handled our surprise meeting: doesn’t really matter. 

You mishandled me for what ever reason. I’ll probably never know.

What matters is what I want to focus on.

I know that deep down, intrinsically forever: I’ll always care for you. I am grateful for our time together, I stay sending love to you.

Trying to balance all those thoughts about him; I found a solid for myself.   

I hand the juice box to my son:

-”Drink this Boo!”

In the end.

I’m puzzled but I got what I wanted. No if’s and but’s — It’s true.

Ever since I bumped into you; managing our meeting skew:

I’ve been thinking less of him. 

So thanks to you.