First, let me take a “chill pill”.

I feel like I just received an Intense.Vivid.Electrical.Choc.

I’m awake, hence I wasn’t ready for any turbulence.

Really, it’s not even nine o’clock.

Let me roll up my sleeves: do some inbox work.

Another choice to make.

 

Can I take this positively?

Flip my instant reception. Sure.

 

I walked in the bank this morning and waited to meet with a consultant.

I needed some help with my debit card.

Ahhhh.

One. Two. Three. Four.

Five individuals waiting ahead of me.

Take a seat, we will call your turn. 

Sure, okay.

More math.

Only One.

A single consultant is currently working.

Let’s average 4 minutes per person. A 20 minute delay.

I thought this would be quick, I’d be in and out; but I got to do this now.

I’ll wait calmly, alright.

 

I found time to pray.

Also spent time revising my mental daily task list and even to speculate on the needed grocery items for tomorrow’s food run.

Time goes but I finally hear: ” Please over here; have a seat”

I do.

Next thing I know: the consultant inquires about my injury.

-”What happened to you? What makes your body uneven?”

 

Damn. 

This again?

I only took like six steps in front of you.

How can you be this woke? 

It’s not that obvious.

Is it?

What happened to me. 

Heavy question, unknown person but piercing inquiry.

It was a bright and light early morning but now I got some dark weight on my mind.

My ego responds: “You are rude. Would you ask someone who has a deep scar across their face; what caused it? Why do you feel it’s okay to ask such a thing?”

My awareness halts the articulated answer.

Take a minute, swallow that chill pill Alex. 

 

I read her name tag and I follow different lines around her desk, just trying to find steadiness and ingest the disturbing intake for an instant before answering.

I notice her manicured nails on the table, her pretty pink blouse and the sleek keypad in front of her.

Cynthia is beautiful. 

She seems friendly and kind.

Breathe in Alexa.

Exhale. 

Open your heart.

I then gently explain what happened.

I mention the accident but I don’t discuss my exact injury.

She then proposes some holistic guidance and assures me this will completely heal my body.

Holistic promises, her holistic experience: I focus on her, I attend to her share.

And ultimately, she resolves my card problem.

Okay.

I stand up to leave and I thank her for her time. 

Outside, it’s still sunny and warm but this cold shower surprise remains my morning backdrop.

I don’t feel too good, now I feel scrutinized and different.

How do I take this? Can I alter my focus?

 

Experience tilts my lense.

Best I take it: as a testimony. 

A testimony of my demeanor?

I still have a salty taste in my mouth.

Let’s add a little sweetness: a reminded proof of my light.

A few weeks ago, a close friend told me about an encounter that truly bothered her.

Someone had clumsily addressed her reality and she was really annoyed.

I can strongly relate.

People can sometimes do or say things that ring sensitive bells in our headspace.

Yah.

I followed by explaining how I try to manage people’s delicate remarks.

Really, we don’t control what others do or any outside impacts.

 

Reality happens to everyone.

She nodded and replied:

-”Ok, but Alex; you go through this often! You must be familiar with the aftermath feelings! Because you have this particular energy, people are attracted to you! You’re  open and you make people comfortable! You have this light.” 

Hmm. 

I remember thinking that sounded quite nice. I simply explain it as being a people person but I appreciate her kind and shared outlook.

Really, I should stick with that kindness for myself this morning.

Instead of feeding my bother about being reminded of my injury and that my vulnerability is noticeable to all – I made a choice.

Morning momentarily decision.

It’s not about being conceited, it’s cultivating my core values.

I have to accept the good and the bad.

I focus on the good: I love this energy I offer, this light.

I was invited to share my story.

Let’s say maybe; because of my interesting brightness.

This light: I chose to radiate and share.

This availability; I wish to keep. 

It’s true. 

I can’t pick and choose how others approach me.

 

They approach me.

And I prayed for that.

I still pray to shoulder others, to make people feel at ease.

 I pray for stronger faith and daily thankfulness.

It’s a daily choice.

How do we assess our reality; and keep moving?

Often, it requires a flip OF perception. Hmm.

My limp doesn’t make me a victim and I’m not inferior to anyone because of it.

I didn’t choose what happened to me.

It’s what I chose to cultivate that defines me.

I want to share light, kindness and positivity.