You can’t add days to your life; but you can add life to your days.

I try to do so.

Exercise. Drink water. Exchange with others. 

Get some fresh air, try to laugh or smile, eat something delicious.

 

I know; a little bit of this and a little bit of that;  I find contentment and gratefulness.

No doubt.

I got some things here. I do want more. 

But I recognize this vital truth.

 

Life is really, literally; about cultivating.

What we make time for, what we think of, what we surround ourselves with.

It’s about noticing and appreciating. 

I know; it’s quite simple.

 

I used to think happiness was a complex equation.

It’s not.

It takes some effort or should I say practice; to only really juggle what truly matters. 

What is fruitful to our soul. 

Also, got to neglect unhelpful comments and thoughts. 

 

If I take a minute to pause and reflect upon the most difficult periods of my life; I recognize three things.

Number one; Everyday I prayed. 

I had no certainty or tangible guarantee; but I held some small seeds of faith which I continually nurtured.

 

Second; Everyday I made sure to ”add life”.

I organized a pleasurable moment, a simple thing that brings me ease, a small delight that I could enjoy.

 

Thirdly; I didn’t have any magic formula. 

Let me be honest; I was scared. I didn’t know if I would even pull through. 

But in my heart; I had those crops of faith and somehow I knew; I couldn’t really question. 

My faith was being arranged, developments were assembled and love was being sourced.

So I walked through the dark tunnels; terrified but … gracefully.

 

I kept my head up;  to set an example for myself and for those around me.

I spoke it to reality. 

I manifested.

All those little addings accumulated to just enough daily peace to make it to the next day.

Again and again. Sunrise to sunset.

 

It sounds so zen.

 

Pfff!

 

Truthfully, I’m no different than most of us. 

In the midst of it, I felt discouraged at times.

I don’t have priority delivery enabled from the universe. 

During my turmoils; it rained; then it poured. 

Then it stopped for a few; then another surprising massive storm crept in. 

No sun, my resources became frail and I got real tired. 

Point is; it took some time.

And during this time; I tried to keep my poise. 

 

I recall waking up in the middle of the night; suffocating with creepers.

Doubts, fears, angry jitters; oftentimes, I remained sleepless.

 

People would visit. They never came empty handed; literally and subjectively.

They always presented something thoughtful, plus an inquiry load.

When? What? How? Who?

Arrgh!!!

Questions? 

Let me spare you some time articulating too much; I don’t know.

When it’s this dark; I can’t see anything.

It’s part of my survival equation.

I don’t know how long, I don’t know the probabilities, I’m unsure of what will remain.

I have been surviving. 

I got the title tatted on my back.  

 

Those beautiful graces that I learned to cultivate; a drink with a friend, a solo meal by the water, a candled bath; those elements become my lifeline.

The light in the dark; the life in the cemetery. 

The peace, the friendly smiles, the nightly walk, the relaxation that fueled me just enough for self care. Slash Survival.

 

Because I promise you; I cried myself to sleep worried about life.

Literal life.

Because I know; life brought many critical hospital stays.

My son. And. Myself.

Because I vow to you; resentment was a toxic stream.

My heart was pumping bad blood. Through my body and my reality.

Because I wanted to find peace. I kept walking, slowly but still forward.

God Please.  Help me.

 

I assure you; in the end; it’s about cultivating love.

Cultures are life.

Life cultures your thoughts and actions.

So add that love to your life. Add life to your love.