Talk about synchronicity.

This cookie relates with two different realities I experienced this week.

These occurrences make me appreciate and validate this truth.

Follow me: I’ll take you through them.

 

An acquaintance of mine recently learned about her husband’s cancer.

Running a quick errand, she caught my bag as I was walking out the supermarket.

-“Hey ma! I hadn’t seen you! How are you?” I asked as I kissed her cheeks hello.

That’s when she confessed their discovery.

Ohhh.

Wo.

Health is key.

Both mental and physical. What a hurdle.

Wholeheartedly, I can relate. 

Tears flowed down her cheeks as she locked her eyes into mine:

-“This is a crazy nightmare! Alexa, how will I do this?” she asked.

With no instant words, I wrapped my arms around her neck and embraced her close to my chest.

Unexpected findings, detrimental times.

I know.

Further or closer, everyone gets something.

I exhale.

My mind goes blank as my heart sinks to the floor.

Alexa, come on! Show up!

Ah… What to say?

 

Is closeness required to console?

Cause: I don’t really know her.

Hunh.

What do I know?

I ignore the exact diagnosis.

I don’t know of her finances and I’m also unaware if her surroundings are supportive.

How did I overcome my son’s cancer; or my life’s big crash?

Does she pray, does she believe in God?

I can’t say.

Still, I could promise: miracles do happen.

This I know.

As I tackle the correct response, I realize that our unfamiliarity doesn’t change much in the projected tactic.

 

I think about one of my siblings.

Close to me: my brother is currently spiraling in self destructive behaviors. I know him.

I know our family very well.

I’m kind of aware of his budget.

I know of his past and of his pre-existing conditions.

Truthfully, I know about his overall life and I could identify optimal resolutions.

But even if this is a familiar reality; nearness has nothing to do with inspiration or consolation.

Legitimately; I could suggest specifics to him: but he’s completely out of reach. He’s not looking for support or motivation.

Right.

Knowing the person’s reality; isn’t all.

Hence, regarding the current “unfamiliar matter” pressed in my arms; what to answer?

Alex; is there a favorable way to tackle life’s obstacles?

I wish to use my experience as a compass. I want to encourage her.

My mind is racing back and forth; searching the wise corners.

I recognize the emotional chains; the anger, the sadness and the fear.

Should I suggest things will change? 

Although they will; it may sound detached and hollow.

And it might get worse, even before it gets better.

Realistically; I know : when it rains, it often pours.

I release her from my arms and discover my wet cheeks with my palm.

I pull my back up straight as I wipe my tears off.

Her phone rings and she quickly answers.

As I scroll through my mind looking for kind words to say;  she gestures that she has to go.

I whisper: “I’ll be in touch”.

I blow her a kiss while she walks out the doors.

OK.

I leave the store with a new goal; I gotta figure this one out.

I’m disappointed by my silence. What should I have answered?

I wonder. 

All.The.Way.Home.

That’s part one – as I link back to the cookie.

 

Twice a week, I visit the library located right beside my gym.

It’s a win-win.

I pick up bedtime stories for my son.

I love to read new tales.  Every night, he loves his cuddled stories.

It’s a quick walk after my workout; a fast selection.

One location serves different goals.

Presented on a top shelf, I noticed yesterday a new edition of the popular themed books: “What would I tell my younger self?”

Although I didn’t pick that one up; I’ve previously consulted a few.

They are packed with beautiful thoughts and resilient ideas.

It got me thinking.

I concluded my reflections with a new belief.

Let.Me.Be.Real: I know for a fact. 

Back then: I.Was.Not.Ready.

You could’ve told me everything that I now hold as a core belief. 

I don’t believe it would have changed ANY of my decisions. Small or big.

I had to go through it. 

Me, myself and I. 

No warning or instruction could have stopped me or guide me. 

I didn’t want to fail or fall; but I thought I knew best.

I thought I knew me. 

That’s cute. In retrospect; I only knew a small fraction of myself.

My thoughts greatly impacted my life and more often than not; my ego drove my focus.

But when my life crashed to pieces and I found myself on the ground long enough; it became real ugly. 

Dirt,  discomforts and rocks. 

Dusty feelings, low energy and dark ground views.

Ultimately, I desired to see differently.  

So I shifted and started a quest.

I became conscious of the journey, the change, the growth and the needed resilient learnings.

I don’t imagine, I cannot conceive; how my survival reflex could have been taught to me or delivered by sentences in a book.

I had to figure it out.

Myself, me and I.

I searched, I read, I prayed, I listened and I shared.

I stumbled, I fell, I did some wrongs and I also I asked for forgiveness.

Conclusively; I learned to control what I focus on and I understood how energies multiply.

Positive brings positive. Negative brings negative.

Simple but quite uneasy effort.

Vividly, I remember being so overwhelmed by the traffic in my “in-box”; I  frequently had to approach my thoughtful management – one minute at a time.

That’s all I could do.

60 seconds to a minute. 60 minutes to an hour. I struggled.

 

Be kind and just take it one day at a time.

That’s my “usual go-to recommendation”.

I didn’t suggest this in the grocery store because it sounded a little too passive to me.

With life being threatened,  I feel like an active suggestion is needed.

So my answer manifested in the cookie: “Instead of thinking about solving your whole life, just think about adding good things. Let your pile of good things grow. ” – Rainbow Rowell.

It reminds me of my preferred suggestion; but with a favorable twist.

 

Over time, humanity has said it several different ways.

“Dance under the rain”, “Make the most of today”, “Don’t worry, be happy”, “Laughter is the best medicine”, etc

Instead of dwelling on the uncontrollable factors; please focus on uplifting people, good actions, positive thoughts and favorable feelings.

Multiply the positives. 

It will influence you. 

One at a time: bring them around you and cultivate them with others.

I called her up the following day and made the suggestion.

I also offered my help and I reiterated that I’m available for a cry, a chat, a tea or a drink.

What ever is needed.