I’m not that young anymore.

It’s cool. 

That’s alright.

With time: thing is; I’ve been around the block.

This block, that block.

The good block, the bad block and that next one; the one I thought I would never visit; plus a couple undesirable ones too.

Yup.

I’ve been around.

Did lots of stuff. Seen lots of places.

I did many goods; did some bad too.

Recently, something happened.

It got me juggling with the idea of wrongdoing.

Wrong vs right.

Right is easy. Feels good.

Does good.

I love doing good stuff.

Giving, sharing, listening, caring, praying, cleaning.

And forgiving.

Forgiving is absolutely mandatory.

While forgiving others can be tough; forgiving myself is quite a bigger challenge.

 

And so; during my lived years: I’ve done some things that I’m not proud of.

I admit that for most of it; I was aware of the breach, of doing something wrong.

Thinking about it all; it’s kinda crazy.

It’s like at times; I could consciously draw a line.

In my head: I justified how my actions weren’t intended to hurt anyone. Hence; I didn’t have to dwell or question the potential effects. 

Maybe no one would ever find out. 

Ha!

Ha.

In retrospect: I sometimes got caught.

Other times, I didn’t.

Yet, I never enjoyed the thought of my actions hurting anyone.

That’s where my quiet discrepancies: Scream.Out.Loud!

As if: the distinction between good and bad can be 100% justified by an intention.

 

I know how ridiculous this sounds.

I promise.

My toddler often articulates: “I’m sorry!” after committing a wrongdoing.

Right.

I can hear myself answer:

-”It’s great that you apologize. Thanks for being sorry. Still,  you will have to deal with the causes of your actions.”

Like my son, I also face the effects of my decisions.

But to face a consequence, some believe you must get caught.

Hmm.

Others believe in: “good ol’ karma”.

I think the universe see’s it all.

Believe me. I’ve faced my ripple effects.

Very often, it’s easy to do the wrong thing.

Is it just me?

For when it gets comfortable, the wrongdoing is almost unnoticeable in our everyday lives. 

Driving after the “2 glasses per hour” pro rata, or keeping a harmful secret, going to the dentist during working hours, etc. 

Sure, these actions may seem harmless; but they still register as misconducts.

I’m guilty of several pleas.

Easily; I can recall lying, presenting fake ID, cheating, speeding, etc.

You get the point.

I started my awareness journey during my mid twenties.

Ever since, I’ve become more “block” cautious.

I try to stay on honest grounds.

Thus, I avoid certain spaces and I select my actions cautiously.

I wonder.

What you perceive as wrong, is it wrong for me?

I’m not sure.

I believe we all possess a moral compass that guides our everyday actions. 

Arguably, this compass is guided by our personal lens, our reality. 

Still, my perception isn’t fooled.

I’m.No.Way.close.to.perfect.

Furthermore, I’m not so concerned about your balanced integrity.

I’ll skip the judgement.

I’ll keep aging, experiencing and choosing what is wrong and right for me.

Some periods of my life were spent: being straight as a an arrow.

Other times: it’s a struggle.

 

My kid and I share more than our orange accessories.

I truly believe that we both feel sorry when we stop to observe our wrong doing.

And in the end: I believe my rights outweigh my wrongs.

That’s my peace.