If you can’t figure out how to be kind, figure out how to be quiet.

Funny.

This cookie rings a recent topic bell.

I was thinking about this exact principle; last Sunday. 

I select kindness over selfish spills any day.

Truth be told, a long while ago: I felt differently.

In my early twenties; I strongly identified with my opinions, my preferences and my feelings. 

Back then, I used to believe that being authentic meant that I should always speak my truth.

With whoever, wherever and whenever.

Hence, I held it as a precious responsibility. 

Time passed. 

Life experiences spun me around. 

My surroundings frantically changed.

As I landed safely mostly puzzled on my grounds; it was clear: I saw my truths with more awareness.

I’m still authentic yet, I have acquired different perceptions.

It is important and beneficial for me to remain aligned with my beliefs. 

Of course. Everyday.

It is not mandatory for me to speak my truth to everyone.

It’s definitely not always best to do so.

With time, like wine: I refine.

As the clock ticks, it also changes my nuances and my robe.

I don’t wear the same outworld certainties.

I believe in the concept of freedom of speech for everyone.

I don’t know about you but I can always speak my mind.

I cherish it as a privilege. 

We should all have that.

I live in a country and in a household in which; everyone’s opinion can be articulated.

Growing up, I lived in a loving environment that greatly encouraged my words.

My thoughts could be spoken  at any time; if I did so respectively.

I recognize this as a beautiful grace.

Many environments and countries don’t tolerate individuals who speak their minds.

This blessing is part of my “lots basket”. 

Over a decade ago: I learned about a beautiful spoken rule.

I know where I personally learned about this; but Its exact origin is hard to pin down.

Some say it comes from Rumi, a great spiritual poet from the 13th century. 

Some think it derives from Buddhist beliefs, while others think it was inspired from from popular culture or even from a different religion.

Either way, it comes from a great spectrum.

It goes something like this: 

“Before you speak: see if your words pass through three gates.

What you’re about to say: is it completely true?

Is it kind? And is it necessary?

If the answer to any of those questions is negative, the words won’t pass: do not speak.” 

 

Not last Sunday, but last fall; I did some online shopping.

Comfortably sitting on my couch, I spent a decent amount of time and money purchasing several items.

I purchased a shirt that was made in Canada, owned by a Canadian company and that promotes Canada.

It’s a “Canada” shirt.

I’m a proud Canadian, wherever I am.

 

Precisely last Sunday, it was a warm and sunny day here in Florida. 

I love the tropical weather. A snow break is an active action for me.

I wore the Canada shirt with a pair of sneakers and my jean shorts.

In the elevator on my way down to the parking level; a couple entered on a lower floor.

I smile and greet them with a nod as I’m also trying to attach a detached key back on my key chain.

-”Are you from Canada?”

I raise my head to look at the male speaker and remember the word on my shirt.

I grin and respond:

-”It wasn’t hard to guess right? Yeah, I’m from Montreal.”

The woman besides him exhales and responds:

-”I don’t like Canada at all! Argghh! No, not a bit. ”

As the doors open on the parking level, they quickly step out.

I place my keychain in my purse and follow them; now somewhat hassled.

I wonder: “ Why did she tell me? Why does she dislike Canada? Is it the history? The weather? Maybe the people? Did she have a bad experience? Individuals can be amazing and also unconscious anywhere, that’s all over the world!”

I also question why: I’m instantly bothered.

I’m quite sensitive.

True.

But it’s more than that.

When I analyze my “in-box” for a few; I get to the bottom of it / quick enough.

If I had worn a hoodie with a shrimp on it; and she had told me that she hates shrimp: I wouldn’t have flickered an inch.

I don’t affiliate or connect with shrimp.

Thus, I understand my uneasiness stems from Me.Identifying.With.Canada.

I care, I connect with Canada.

I’m not at the movies but this screenplay: got me a little rankled.

Rankled  in the elevator. How the elevator Grinch shook my Canada.

No more replays.

Alexa.

It’s nothing against me.

Her dislike doesn’t take anything away from my  love with my native country.

There’s no need, no time or benefit for me to dwell additionally on this.

Shake it off Alex! Focus on the warm sun rays. This ain’t sweat worthy! 

Alright. Rebooted.

Adjusted.

Moving on.

I wonder. Was it necessary? Was it kind?

Not sure. I do know that filtering our ideas before speaking; is quite a challenge.

Honorably, it did influence my growth. 

It’s still hard at times.

I’ve failed before; and I’ll fail again.

Thus, beyond speaking: I now conduct my thoughts regularly with these guidelines.

I love the effect it has on my “in-box” and how it recenters my everyday thoughts.

I literally was, twisting a key segment in the elevator.

Before speaking: kindness should be evaluated but whatever words are spoken, kindness should also be reactive.

#bekind’orsilent