I’m in bed but I’m not sleeping.

It’s Murphy’s law.

You know about it.

You probably experience it. 

“If I can’t go wrong, it will go wrong anyway.”

Thanks Murphy!

More precisely: Edward Aloysius Murphy Jr., an American Aerospace Engineer and former World War II pilot.

While experiencing repeated coincidental aggravations researching safety for aeronautical projects: he noticed the concurrence.

That happens to me. 

A lot.

Last night: my husband and my son left to go spend the weekend together. I packed their bathing suits for the beach, a bag of stuff and gladly sent them off.

As I observed the car driving away: I envisioned the sleep, the rest, the lazy behavior and the peace of mind.

24 hours later.

I find. None.

At four am this morning; I went to the restroom to quickly land back in bed.

I closed my eyes and turned over. 

I waited.

I played hopscotch with a few ideas that my awareness clumsily landed on.

Eventually, I realized that I wasn’t sleeping.

First, I remembered that I was alone in bed.

I positioned myself accordingly. 

Right in the center.

Waited some more.

Then, I flipped the pillow over and I stretched out.

Quiet and spacious. Alex; sleep tight.

I want to!

Got no reason not to; hence I should.

It’s not my husband’s snoring, or my 3 year old who’s announcing:

-“Up mommy! Sunny day!”

This morning, there’s no noise and no place to be, I’m alone and free.

 It’s you Murphy!

Silly me.

Time passed and I get a little annoyed.

I can see the sunlight slowly creeping from outside.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Damn.

Great.

This wake up is.all.types.of.wrong.

Way too early, still tired, very undesired.

Unreasoned.

Thus, I stayed lying in bed. Peaceful.

Eventually, I get up and go about.

Alex, don’t be mad, I’ll sleep later.

“Be kind with yourself.”

Ok.

Unexpectedly, this two day break/is not as restful and vitalizing as imagined.

I’m currently juggling delicate logistics everyday and I feel restless.

Wherever I turn, I see an item to add on my to-do list. 

Whenever I walk out; I receive inquires about my son’s health.

I appreciate the love and concern. 

Always.  Really.

Still, revisiting the rocky road while my intent was just to take the trash out; leaves me with fatigue and a sense of uneasiness.

Oh well. 

I got what I wished for: the opportunity to sleep.

Thanks universe.

But I couldn’t when I could; thanks Murphy.

I take it with a sense of humor. 

If I can’t sleep; at least I can laugh. I mean: grin.

Come on.

It’s early.