White shirt, clean mind, liberally speaking; I believe that forgiveness is a strong component of freedom. 

“What do you mean?” you ask.

I’m free.

Physically and mentally.

I’ve never been to jail.  I don’t plan on it either.

Still, I’ve felt confined in the past.

My experience holds a period during which I lived being physically limited. 

I was bound to a  wheelchair for over a month, I had to re-learn how to move and speak.

It was a challenging time. I needed help to bend, aid to shower, to get dressed and to stand up.

I felt imprisoned in my own body; who struggled with new limited movements and residual atrophy.

Deep inside, I was angry and disappointed by my feelings. I also felt frustrated by the reactions of certain people in my surroundings.

I felt trapped.

And in a real way; I definitely was.

This period of my life was dark and painful.

 

I learned that to move around independently and to be active; that’s physical freedom.

Until the body experiences limits, changes and pains; it’s often taken for granted.

Some different types of weights also exist: the mental burdens or emotional forces. 

Although we cannot see those loads, these are valid and heavy factors.

It’s difficult to live with these invisible charges.

 

I can only speak for myself, but once I began untangling my emotional threads: several pieces led to resentments and disappointments.

In this social realm, misunderstandings and deceitful exchanges happen.

Perhaps it’s towards him or; maybe regarding her.

Often enough; directly – to oneself.

Because frequently enough. I found myself guilty of nourishing negative feelings with reminded confirmations or guilt consumptions.

I sometimes did this for quite some time but ultimately, if a negative flow streams through my body and mind; it impacts mostly me unfavorably.

Because if we don’t learn to be at peace with the torment, it will keep spinning us.

 

It’s one thing to declare forgiveness; and another to actually live it.

On my journey looking for answers; I learned how to internalize certain steps. 

Adjacent to mercy;  I learned to recognize and acknowledge my own messy reality.

I work to own my personal inconsistencies, to “reprogram” my heart and mind while holding a sincere desire to achieve an authentic pardon.

I learned to cultivate mercy and understanding towards shortcomings, errors or divisions.

Certain people who caused me pain were themselves limited by their life baggage.

If I stipulate with fairness; I can imagine that momentarily; some followed selfish reactions; while others were caught in a painful reality.

Today, I believe that my experienced social deceptions; were never truly intended to hurt me.

Lately, I was exchanging with a woman during a meal at the restaurant. She shared a situation that she recently experienced.

Hum hum, I see.

In th end; she explained how she chooses to forgive and how she accepts what is.

I walked away with aa box of leftover food and a perplexed mind.

 In retrospect; I must admit; I felt the crackling sparks all throughout her share.

As if; they still deeply burn her. 

So much so her words stabbed my peace. Her spoken tone felt vexed and resentful.

This made me wonder if her “forgiveness” was truly peacefully processed.

Who am I to say, though?

I note this simply because; I believe the residual feeling held; really does influence the final outlook.

In the peaceful quest; much discomfort is needed.

You go through it in passage, or you handle it continuously.

 

If you ask me how forgiveness is linked to peace: I’ll respond that freedom represents a peaceful release.