I’m curious. 

Really. I want to know when and where, if and how.

I like pictures and descriptions, details and prognostics.

I can easily relate to many different circumstances. Plus, I’m a good listener. 

Everyone has a unique experience, an interesting story to tell. 

Even if simple, the intricate details can be captivating. 

I’m also interested to learn about other perceptions. We can perceive similar experiences differently.

Like I said, I’m curious.

Sitting in the kitchen with a friend last night: I struggled.  

I love this woman, she’s amazing. 

We’ve been friends for over a decade now. I know she’s a strong individual. Still, lIfe is a roller coaster for all of us. 

She and me, them and you.

Thus, she was sharing her present dispositions. 

The fall stretch, the anxiety and the dread. 

She talked for a long while. Gladly, I took a couple of sips from my cocktail and listened carefully.

I was sitting on the chair but my mind was racing: pondering her words and weighing her sayings. Her share was heavy and tangled. I was busy sorting the given information.

She suddenly stops her rant and finally gasps. She looks up and gazes straight at me.

Oh.

My turn? 

Mindlessly, I blur out a few clumsy sentences.

As the words flow out my mouth, I instantly realize their effect.

I recognize this initial response is not adequate. My response suggests that she is overreacting. Damn.

I admit: I got tangled in my own perceptions: I’m momentarily-profoundly: sorry. 

I cannot dispute her insights or how she feels about something. 

Duh.

I am not her. Usually If I speak: I always try to share kindly. 

I try to stop and observe my thoughts before articulating them. 

Secondly, I evaluate the possible contribution.  Is this idea 100% true, necessary and kind? 

If any of these answers are negative: I usually try to stay quiet. 

I do try… but I also fail greatly. 

There are days where my speech is not fully aligned with my intentions.

When I’m rested, aware and grounded, this practice is more efficient and successful.

I know for sure:  it’s practically impossible to completely comprehend anybody else’s reality. 

Maybe we walked a very similar mile; but we didn’t walk with the same shoes.

Even if the environment is very alike, we don’t carry identical baggage or even have the same beliefs and competences.  My observations will forever be tinted by my own experiences and perceptions. 

Right. 

Hence my friend was sharing her impressions concerning a particular reality.

What is a friend to do?

Should I only empathize?

In the past, I too have shared my conundrums or aggravations with friends.

I recognize that sometimes: I have benefited from suggested outlooks. 

I also know it’s important to express ourselves and vent out our emotional fumes. 

To evolve, we don’t always need constructive input.

In the kitchen on this particular day, experience and her friendship allowed me to recognize this slip – apologize and move on. 

I had stumbled like a big bulky elephant on her sensitive share. 

“In order to empathize with someone’s experience, you must be willing to believe them as they see it and not how you imagine their experience to be.” Brené Brown

What do you think?