It’s been a minute since I’ve posted.

My focus was elsewhere, I’m sorry.

In my head; projects and responsibilities can get crowdy.

Ya. It can get thick; like porridge.

And it was a busy summer, but I’ll aim to be more regular.

My fault.

My apologies.

 

 

#it’sMylifeit’sMyshow.

 

I decide the main characters, the desired plan and I can definitely change the story; the narrative.

Just like one auditorium can hold the same spectacle; yet hold separate perspectives;

My outlook about a precise situation; can also vary.

 

The same reality at one particular point; can look some type of way.

In a separate moment; it can be seen considerably different.

This concerns my actual state of mind.

It’s shifting. 

Is it here?

Or do I stand over there?

Let me give you the re-run.

 

Last year, when I agreed to join him in the spa; I thought: “this is just for fun”.

This can’t be serious.

Casual – no undertaking. Check.

 

From the beginning, I recognized how our lifestyles were completely different.

I figured that I had nothing to lose so; I thought we could kick it for a bit.

 

Our conversations got off my desired script – pretty quick.

I can recall adjusting to a few instances in which I didn’t feel exactly prioritized, or even treated fairly.

I kept thinking: it’s temporary, it’s convenient, fine okay. 

 

Keep him at a distance. 

It’s easy and it feels light and funny – fine.

I won’t get too invested.

Until one thing led to another; I then found myself emotionally entangled.

 

Silly me.

Unconscious me.

Alex, please. 

You know better. 

 

Repeatedly; he pushed and shoved my peace.

Ha hum!

I expressed how he was misstepping.

Not sure how his recall happened; but it did.

So by then: it got personal.

Stomping around on my ground; ah; wait!

This is my life, my show!

 

I don’t like this drama.

Why does this part feel so heavy?

No clue.

I guess that I should factor in;  my life anxieties and the latest encountered deceptions.

Oh.

The needed comfort and his strong embrace.

I mean; it’s the attraction.

 

I can’t decide for him; his words and his actions.

Conclusively; I can definitely change my availability.

I found myself hurt by his comedy; and I refuse to repeat.

Alex, move on. 

 

Good thing it’s my show; I can change this version.

It might represent some emotional work; maybe even a little dynamic struggle.

Ultimately: I can rearrange the unfolding, I can filter the outside impacts.

With God by my side, I can alter the play.

I’m responsible for where I stand. 

I can’t work with unreliable actors. No way.