In life everything changes. 

This can be a comforting thought when we are juggling heavy loads or dealing with unsettling circumstances. 

Of course, our blissful loving moments:  we wish would never end.

Most things that really shake us: we don’t get to choose.

Some truly are: unforeseen circumstances.

But let’s forget about the outside world. I’m here. Let’s address me.

I change, you change and they do too.

Sometimes, our own needs and feelings can alter. 

Our bodies change everyday: our hormones, our hair, our weight, etc. 

Our emotions alter as well, our sentiments may feel lighter or heavier; and our awareness or closeness may also vary.

About a year ago, I started feeling a shift.

My priorities had switched.

I felt very different about particular grounds in my life.  I recently learned that:  even values change. 

Values are like fundamental beliefs; they guide us, select how we function and how we think. 

This year, I realized that recent hardships altered some of my core pieces.

 I expressed this to my husband. I wanted to address these developments. I believe it’s important.

Rapidly, he began disputing that these changes are new and he completely dismisses them.

Hmmmmm.

True.

We’ve been together for several years and I rarely expressed these type of perceptions.

Are my new beliefs so problematic?

He continued with interrogations of how and why.

Our conversation finished abruptly.

He expressed that he doesn’t care to deal with stress or change.

He was impatient and defensive.

I felt like he was blaming me for changing. 

Now, I feel powerless.

This predicament is bittersweet for many reasons. 

I recognize I cannot expect someone to change.  But this is our marriage though. 

I thought we had chosen to evolve together. 

If my final destination changed, can’t we compromise to join the journey?

Life is a matter of adaptation.

Ultimately: we must figure out the necessary changes.  Or quit.

But in a marriage- we in?

Nah?

Change is a cause, it’s also an effect: it happens to us all. 

I feel misunderstood. I didn’t orchestrate this. It happened organically and painfully.  

Kinda like a caterpillar becomes a butterfly… it’s just normal evolution.

Now, where can we go toether?